Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Dear Utah Drivers,

Please me aware that most of you have no clue how to drive.  Going 90 mph and then slamming on your brakes in your Hyundai-Porsche (name for any non-luxury car that tries to drive fast) is not cool.  Also, please be advised that mini-vans, semis, big rigs, and old dilapidated vehicles should NEVER be in the fast lane.  Please be aware that switching in and out of lanes at high speeds to get ahead is not only dangerous but makes you look like a d.a.  Also, please note that having your family tree spraweled across your back window as stick figures is very white trash.  Also, trying to sell anything from your car is tasteless.  I am not interested in any of your pyramid scams.  The advertisement on your 1991 Geo-Metro telling me that I can make 10K+ a month by calling you is not very convincing.  Also, to all the guys at the top of the "health companies" driving BMWs, Mercedes and Lexus' with their logo across the back, we know that you did not pay for the car, so please don't try and act cool when you have "Tahitian Noni" all over your vehicle.  Finally, FYI the carpool lane has designated spots for entering and exiting.  Using it for a passing lane is illegal.  And, you're supposed to YIELD at a round-about.  Just thought I'd clue you in.

I'm writing this as a public service.

P.S.  I have been listening to Jason Mraz on repeat over and over to help me from going insane while driving and risking my life in Utah.


Jackie said...


This sounds EXACTLY like Jacksonville!!! Family stickers and all!!

Amy said...

They can definitely be idiots...Ian and I teased it's because they are all from Cali!!!

The Pendletons said...

Amen. I think that about sums it up.